


Drops of Shame

by mechanicalreproductions



Category: Silent Hill (Video Game Series)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, One Shot, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:00:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26015389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mechanicalreproductions/pseuds/mechanicalreproductions
Summary: Henry fails to cope with his guilt after witnessing Eileen's death.
Relationships: Eileen Galvin & Henry Townshend
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Drops of Shame

Blinding light bled through the window, waking him and triggering an excruciating pounding in his head. It took him far longer than it should have to settle the shock of panic that believed he had awoken in Room 302. Of course he hadn't. This was his new apartment- if you could call his home for the last year 'new'. 

An entire year had passed since Eileen's death, and Henry still woke up in a daze after drinking himself to sleep. He'd always hated the feeling of being drunk, but the only way he could sleep peacefully was by knocking himself out cold- and even that only worked most of the time. When he sat up, he was rewarded with a nauseating feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach as he was greeted with his reality once again. The empty packets of medication at his bedside, the overbearing bills from his unsuccessful therapy, and the fresh lacerations on his skin taunting the healed scars- they all told a story of failure.

He'd obviously moved away as soon as he could after the incident in Room 302, but a part of him was still terrified of waking up chained into his new apartment. He irrationally expected the cycle to start all over again any day now. He didn't know why- Walter was dead after all. He couldn't discard the vibrant memory of snuffing out his life, no matter how desperately he wanted to.

Henry had tried so hard to save everybody, but didn't manage a single one. Of course, he wanted to save Eileen more than anything, but he would have even saved Cynthia or Jasper- they were also innocent. He would have even saved Richard or Andrew, as rotten as they were, simply because he couldn't bear the weight of their corpses on his shoulders. He would have even saved Walter, and he wanted badly to, but by the time they met that ship had long since sailed.

Burdened by these thoughts, Henry didn't bother to get out of bed, and he didn't stay awake for long. He only registered that he was no longer conscious when he opened his eyes and saw that this time he was in Joseph's- or rather, Walter's- room once again. Sitting at the edge of the bed was a somberingly familiar woman with short hair, bright green eyes, and deep red patterns twisting and pulsating just beneath her skin. She wasn't smiling. Her expression was blank.

He saw Eileen in his dreams often, and he didn't know if she was a real ghost or a metaphorical one. It didn't really matter, since he always acted as if she were real. He wanted his words to reach her, as few words as he ever managed to say. When he opened his mouth, he had millions of thoughts demanding to be spoken, but only managed to pitifully choke out-

"I'm sorry."

"You tried to protect me," Eileen said. Her voice was hollow, sending chills straight through him. 

"I failed."

"Yes… that's true."

"So, why?" his voice cracked. He would have cried if he could, "Why do you keep coming back? Is it just to torment me? Maybe I deserve it, but-"

"You see that? You hear how you're talking? I'm not tormenting you. You're tormenting yourself," she cupped his jaw. It should have comforted him, but it made him sick to his stomach. Her hands felt dead, and it sounded like there was meant to be emotion behind her words, but there wasn't. It was like she was reading a script. It almost made him angry, though it mostly just hurt.

She continued, "I'm here because you want me to be."

"No, I don't," he insisted, "I don't want this. I want to be left alone. I want to forget."

"Then tell me to leave, Henry."

He tried to do as she said, but no matter how he tried, he couldn't form the words. He'd already taken Eileen's life with his inaction- to tell her to leave would be cruel. Besides, if he were to be completely honest with himself, he would feel alone without her company. These horrible dreams were now the only intimate, human interaction he ever had. There was a hatred for this ghost growing within him, but he was afraid ot being without her.

Before he could even gather his thoughts, he was in his own bed again.Eileen was no longer with him, and the light from the window was now a dull red. Another day was wasted wallowing in sorrow, battling his own mind with nothing to show for it. It didn't look like these nightmares would be stopping any time soon.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave feedback if you enjoyed it!


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